We all want to be loved and accepted, but sometimes we can go about it in the wrong way. Seeking approval from our partner instead of ourselves can put a lot of strain on a relationship. After all, we can’t control how someone else feels, and constantly trying to do so is likely to result in frustration on both sides. So how can we break this cycle? 

Why do people seek external approval in relationships?

There are a few reasons why people might seek external approval in their relationships. For one, we’re social creatures and need validation from others to feel good about ourselves. Additionally, many of us have been taught that our self-worth is tied up in how others see us. If our partner loves and approves of us, then we must be doing something right!

However, this way of thinking can be harmful. First, it puts a lot of pressure on our partner to make us happy. Second, it means that we’re never truly content with ourselves – we’re always looking for someone else to give us a thumbs up.

How can you tell if you’re seeking external approval in your relationship?

There are a few signs that you might be seeking external approval in your relationship. Do you:

  • Constantly worry about what your partner thinks of you?
  • Go out of your way to please them, even if it means sacrificing your own needs?
  • Avoid doing things that might upset them, even if you really want to do them?
  • Feel anxious or down if they don’t show you affection?
  • Find it hard to make decisions without their input?

If you answered yes to any of the above, then it’s likely that you’re seeking external approval in your relationship.

How can you stop seeking external approval in your relationship and start relying on yourself instead?

There are a few things you can do to stop seeking external approval in your relationship. The first step is to take some time to nurture your own self-esteem. This means accepting yourself for who you are, flaws and all. Second, learn to make decisions without your partner’s input. This doesn’t mean doing things that they don’t approve of, but rather not always needing their approval before you do something. Third, communicate your needs to your partner. This way, they’ll know what makes you happy and can be more supportive. Finally, remember that you’re in control of your own happiness. Seek approval from yourself first, and everything else will fall into place.

Practice self-compassion

One of the best things you can do to stop seeking external approval is to practice self-compassion. This means being kind and understanding towards yourself, even when you make mistakes. It also means recognizing that everyone has flaws and making an effort to accept yourself for who you are.

Here are a few ways to practice self-compassion:

  • Talk to yourself in a kind and understanding way.
  • Be mindful of your thoughts and emotions.
  • Accept that you are imperfect and that it’s okay to make mistakes.
  • Forgive yourself when you do something wrong.
  • Focus on your positive qualities.

Set boundaries with your partner

Another way to stop seeking external approval is to set boundaries with your partner. This means communicating your needs and expectations clearly. It also means not being afraid to say “no” when they ask you to do something that you’re not comfortable with.

Here are a few tips for setting boundaries in a relationship:

  • Communicate your needs and expectations clearly.
  • Don’t be afraid to say “no” to your partner.
  • Respect your partner’s boundaries.
  • Don’t try to control or change them.
  • Seek professional help if you’re having trouble setting boundaries.

Make decisions for yourself

One of the best things you can do for yourself is to start making decisions without your partner’s input. This doesn’t mean doing things that they don’t approve of, but rather not always needing their approval before you do something.

Here are a few tips for making decisions without your partner:

  • Trust your gut instinct.
  • Consider what you want, not just what your partner wants.
  • Seek professional help if you’re having trouble making decisions.

Remember that you’re in control of your own happiness

The most important thing to remember is that you’re in control of your own happiness. This means that you shouldn’t seek approval from anyone else, including your partner. Instead, focus on taking care of yourself and doing things that make you happy.

Here are a few tips for taking control of your own happiness:

  • Do things that make you happy, regardless of what other people think.
  • Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself.
  • Avoid people who bring you down.
  • Seek professional help if you’re struggling to find happiness.

If you’re seeking external approval in your relationship, remember that you’re not alone. There are steps you can take to stop doing this and start taking care of yourself instead. Practice self-compassion, set boundaries with your partner, make decisions for yourself, and remember that you’re in control of your own happiness. Seek professional help if you’re struggling to make these changes.